Day 5: Rest

Saturday is a beautiful thing to me. I work the five weekdays, then I have Saturday and Sunday off with my husband and baby daughter. While my work is far from awful, it is very repetitive and keeps me away from my heart: home and family. The weekend comes like a breath of fresh air, blowing away the stagnant work-a-day week. It transports me to a place of warmth, creativity, challenge, and rest.

It is easy to fill up the weekend before it even begins. If I'm not careful, my calendar gets so clogged up with commitment that I allow myself no time to enjoy my home and family. Without space to rest, I become a frazzled, heart-pounding, ball of stress. I may accomplish many tasks and create wonderful things, but if I do not allow myself time to rest, when will I ever get to step back and appreciate what I have done? If I am not careful, I am carried away by a fast-rushing, endless stream of things to do.

Rest is more, however, than a blank schedule. There have been days when I have had no obligations at all and still was unable to be at peace. Taking a nap did not feel like resting. It was more like an attempt to escape the fear and anxiety clouding my day. Watching TV was a way to forget about my own troubled thoughts until I could escape to sleep. I had to feed my ears and eyes with a steady flow of distractions just to keep panic from overwhelming me at work or at home. Fridays terrified me, because the weekend meant no work routine to consume my day and protect me from my fearful thoughts. Just the thought of being home with my family all weekend made a pool of anxiety well up inside of me, sometimes overflowing into tears. I knew something was broken inside of me, but no matter how many fun things I planned for my weekend, I still dreaded it.

This weekend has been, as I said, a breath of fresh air. When I decided to finally, truly believe in God and His will for me, the fearful thoughts ceased. As in, they no longer exist. For the first time in years, I am at peace. Instead of being something to be dreaded or messily navigated, my weekend has become a time to enjoy my family.

Sitting on a flagstone at the edge of the park today, I smilingly watched my husband chase my daughter in the late summer sunshine. My heart was full. I felt absolutely amazed by the transformation that had occurred in me simply by trusting in God. I am a new person. My life spreads out before me like a sunny landscape, rife with promise. My mind has found rest.

For food for thought regarding the rest God gives to us, read Hebrews 3:7-19 and 4:1-11. :0)