On the Threshold I

On the Threshold I
By: Joylyn Ortiz

On a rainy morning I find myself.
I seek myself.
I seek God.
Whoever or whatever God is:
The One who wants to be found,
Who seeks me,
Who finds me.
I seek myself, yes,
The deeper part, the hidden core
Lying buried most days
Beneath layers of work,
Entertainment,
Relationships,
Ambition,
Duty.
The rain reminds me:
When surface layers wash away,
Underneath lies a shiny, clean
Something.
The something I seek.
What lies beneath
These days?
Am I the same
When the layers wash away?
When I seek me,
When I find me,
Has time and experience
Altered something?
Am I wiser?
Kinder?
Less selfish?
More disciplined?
Am I pure?
And is God the fire
In my heart,
The song on my lips,
The One who opens
My eyes in wonder?
At my truest,
Washed naked,
Shiny and clean,
Will I find him?