On the Threshold II

On the Threshold II
By: Joylyn Ortiz

To the One who waits in the rain,
To I Am, the great Something,
The Someone who seeks,
Come.
Too long I have closed
My window,
Filling the room,
Leaving no space
For your glory.
Too busy,
Afraid?
No.
Not afraid.
Just trying to be
My own Something,
To prove I can.
Fierce and
Proud
  all
     by
        Myself.
Believing the lie:
I must stand alone,
Independent,
Worthy of
Praise.
Like
You.
Oh, that's where
I become God
Instead of
A temple.
Filling myself
With my own spirit
Instead of yours.
Filling my ears
With my own
Praise.
Hanging my
Accomplishments
On the wall
Like I did everything
  all
    by
      Myself.
No, no, no, no.
I remember.
Tender moments,
Childlike seeking,
Abba, help me
Find the way.
Step by step
Revealed,
Doors
Opened,
Prayers
Choked out
Through tears
Falling on homework,
School bills
Washed away
By timely aid.
You made
My way.
You lead me still
When I listen.
So I open
My window.
Come.

On the Threshold I

On the Threshold I
By: Joylyn Ortiz

On a rainy morning I find myself.
I seek myself.
I seek God.
Whoever or whatever God is:
The One who wants to be found,
Who seeks me,
Who finds me.
I seek myself, yes,
The deeper part, the hidden core
Lying buried most days
Beneath layers of work,
Entertainment,
Relationships,
Ambition,
Duty.
The rain reminds me:
When surface layers wash away,
Underneath lies a shiny, clean
Something.
The something I seek.
What lies beneath
These days?
Am I the same
When the layers wash away?
When I seek me,
When I find me,
Has time and experience
Altered something?
Am I wiser?
Kinder?
Less selfish?
More disciplined?
Am I pure?
And is God the fire
In my heart,
The song on my lips,
The One who opens
My eyes in wonder?
At my truest,
Washed naked,
Shiny and clean,
Will I find him?