Saturday, January 31, 2015

Why I Facebook

Why I Facebook

Scrolling through my newsfeed, I see such a mix: beauty, frustration, pain, humor, annoyance, nostalgia, hope, crassness, anger, faith, depression, worry, and love. It is a core sample of America: what we talk about when we are given a voice. My friends range in age from teenagers to great-grandparents. Each one has a life that is his or hers alone. Each person has an inner world, and we only see the surface of it, especially on Facebook. Yet all of these people are intentionally coming together to share pieces of their world with others: photos, quotes, interesting articles, videos, prayer requests, angry tirades... Each status update is a window into what that person is like on the inside. 

I like to check Facebook often and keep updated on what my friends are saying and doing. It inspires me and helps me to interact with people I might not see every day. I also like getting to know people better and having the opportunity to comment on the things they say and do, even if I never see them face-to-face. It makes the world seem smaller and humanity more connected if I am receiving daily updates on strangers who live in New York City. I scroll through the comments on posts that interest me. Do other people think like I do? Are they saying the things I would say, or is their response completely different?  What are other people doing in response to this article, this story, these words?  Are they grieving?  Are they praying?  Are they angry?  Are they looking for humor in it?  Are they offering hope?

As I read the stories in words and pictures, my own mind, my own story grows. As I connect to each of these people, places, and things,  I crawl out of my own life's bubble and experience the world. It moves my hands to action, my heart to empathy, my mind to expansion. What a way to start the day!

Thursday, January 29, 2015

The Intruder

The Intruder
By: Joy Ortiz

She crept into my lap
Silently,
Curling herself neatly,
A warm and furry
Intrusion. 
Busy,
As always,
I reached around her,
Trying to continue
Everything more important. 
Impossible. 
Frustrated,
I glared down
Into wide, green eyes
And innocence. 
She rebuked me. 
Slowly
I laid down
My priorities,
Instead burying
My fingers
Deep in her fur,
Fueling
Luxurious purrs. 
How long did I pause
My frantic mind
To bask 
In the wonder
Of her?
She fell asleep,
Remaining
To warm my belly,
And something colder
Within me
Thawed. 
How different
Would the world become
If everyone
Stopped
To pet the cat?

Tuesday, January 27, 2015

Dig Me Up

Dig Me Up
By: Joy Ortiz

Dig me up and shake me free
Of clinging clods and earth.
Carry me to soil and sun
Where winds blow fresh and fierce.

Fill my days with singing.
Burst me into bloom.
Plant me deep in patience.
Give my roots more room.

Take me to the sunshine.
I'm tiny in this shade.
Break the sky wide open.
Feed my soul with rain.

I'm little, new, and thirsty.
My stem is young, but strong.
My leaves reach up with longing;
My sap runs sweet with song.

Dig me up and plant me!
I'm hungry for a home.
Release my roots and free me
From everything I've known.

Winds of change are stirring.
Deep calls out to deep.
Seeds grow quick with longing
To waken from their sleep.

My soul is parched and fainting.
I'm wilting, waiting; small.
Revive me with your promise.
Remind me of your call.

Take me somewhere rich with life
Where I can grow and thrive.
Train and cultivate me.
Teach me how to be alive.

Maker, great Creator,
You lift me from the dirt.
The digging up is painful, but
Your presence soothes the hurt.

I don't know where I'm going,
Nestled firmly in your hand.
I'm blind and deaf, but knowing
Where you are is where I'll land.

I trust you with the journey
As my destiny unfolds.
Dig me up and plant me!
My life is yours to hold.

I

I
By: Joy Ortiz

I want

My life to
Sing,

My hands to
Pour out
Flowers,

My eyes to
Weep
Seeds

that

Spill,

Fall,

and

Grow.

Friday, January 23, 2015

Yesterday, Today, and Forever

Yesterday, Today, and Forever

God, your Word says that you are the same "yesterday, today, and forever."  It describes you many times as "unchanging."  I believe that the Bible is trustworthy, but sometimes I have a hard time reconciling the loving Father, the faithful Friend, the tender Lover, the gentle Jesus, with the God who destroyed cities full of people and sent the Israelites to commit genocide against the Canaanites. 

Are you still that God?  Are you still the God who would command his people to slaughter innocent animals in sacrifice?  Are you still the God who wiped Sodom off of the map?  Are you still the God who sent poisonous snakes to punish your people when they sinned?  Are you still the God who got so disgusted with humanity that he flooded the earth to kill most of them and start over with just a handful?  

Are you still that God?

The God that we preach today is a God of love, mercy, and grace. This God doesn't want to hurt anyone. He loves everyone. He sent his son to pay for everyone's sins and clear the debt. He loves the world. He even loves sinners. His love is unconditional. He doesn't walk around with a big stick, ready to clobber anyone who sins. He doesn't send armies to commit genocide. He sends missionaries and Compassion International workers to serve people living in countries that are unchurched. He sends people to minister to the homeless, the sick, and those in prison. 

Are you that God?

Are you both?

Can you be the God who orders genocide and the God who weeps over genocide?  Can you be the God who demands animal sacrifice and the God who watches over the sparrow?  Can you be the God who destroyed a world full of sinners and the God who sent his son to save a world full of sinners?  Those seem like such contradictions. 

It seems like you are learning, growing, and adjusting your tactics as you go along. Yet how can that be true if you know all things already?  It seems like you have changed from the God you were in the Old Testament, yet your Word says that you never change. 

It may seem foolish to believe in a God and a Bible that present so many contradictions.  There are so many things that I don't understand, and a lot of the things I do understand don't make much sense.  Still I trust in you. I trust that you will reveal the truth and bring wisdom. I hope in you. I seek you. I want to know you.

Show me the way, Lord.  Help me to know you more. 

Thursday, January 22, 2015

Friend of God

Friend of God

God, you have called me "friend" along with the many other names you gave me. What does it mean for me to be your friend?  When I think of friendship, I think of two people who spend time together because they want to. No other obligation requires them to have a relationship. They aren't bound by the ties of family; they aren't thrown together at work or on a committee.  They aren't stuck awkwardly sitting next to each other at their kids' swimming lessons. Maybe one of those situations is how they met, but something ignited within both people to make them desire to spend more time together, even when the obligation was done. Now they call or text each other, comment on each other's Facebook posts, go out to dinner, go shopping together, have craft parties, exchange gifts at Christmas, and meet at Starved Rock to go hiking. They could stop talking. They could stop meeting, but they don't want to. Both people enjoy life more when it includes friendship with each other. 

Is that how you feel about me, Lord?  You have called me "friend."  Nothing requires you to have a relationship with me. You could let me live my own life apart from you, yet you call me and say, "I miss you. Let's spend some time together."  I could live my life without you. Many people do. Yet there is something about you that makes my life better. When I go too long without talking to you or spending time with you, I miss you. Sometimes I just need to talk to you and get things off of my chest when I'm having a bad day. I inevitably walk away from that conversation feeling better. You inspire me and encourage me. You love me as I am while still wishing the best for me. Isn't that what friends do?  How am I a friend to you?  Because friendship has to go both ways; it is a reciprocal relationship. Do you miss me when we haven't talked in awhile?  Do you like listening to what I think?  Do you like seeing what I will create?  Do I inspire you? Do I encourage you?  Do I make you laugh?  Is your life better just because I'm in it?  

I'm glad we are friends. I'm glad you are not just my judge, my father, my provider, or my savior. All of those roles are important to me, too, but having you as a friend makes it easier to accept them. Being criticized by a friend (you really shouldn't buy that dress; it looks weird on you) is easier than accepting judgement from a stranger.  Listening to my father when he is also a friend is richer than having to obey a cold and distant father just because he is my parent.  When I am in need, accepting provisions from a friend is sweeter and more pleasant than being beholden to a stranger or a system.  I know that the gift was given with loving generosity, and I would gladly return the favor for my dear friend.

Thank you for being my friend. Thank you for choosing to do life with me. My life is better with you in it. 

Wednesday, January 21, 2015

Becoming, I Come

 Becoming, I Come
By: Joy Ortiz

Here am I
Dressed in white,
Walking down the longest aisle
To you.
I have veiled my eyes,
Covered my head
With prayers
Spun thin and numerous,
Woven together
To billow in the slightest breeze,
An effervescent reminder
That each one
Indeed
Had substance.
I have piled my hair,
A shining mass,
Curled and coiffed
Atop my head.
Its length,
Formerly
Lank and unattended,
Hiding my face
From you,
I have washed.
I brushed out
Every knot,
Cut away
Split ends.
With the greatest care
I put
Every hair in place

For you,
Pulled back
High and shining
To reveal my face.
I have washed
My hands,
Scrubbing away
Every trace
Of dirty deeds done
Before I met you.
Soaked and softened,
Every hard spot,
Each callous,
Every roughness
Melts away,
Transforming hands
Which used to labor
For my own reward
Into hands of
Tenderness.
I proudly wear
The shining white dress
You bought for me.
With time and care,
I wrought embroidery upon it
To surprise and delight you.
Every righteous deed
I have done

Sparkles like a star
Stitched in place
With all my love and effort.
See how I have added
Beauty upon beauty?
I did it all for you
That I might be
Even more beautiful
In your sight.
Look at my feet.
I have clad them
In shoes fit for dancing.
No high heels for me.
I am elevated enough
Standing on my own two feet
Next to you.
When you take my hand
And lead me
Onto the dance floor
At our wedding feast,
My feet will be ready
To keep time with yours.

Look at the flowers
I carry.
Each one was precious,
Lovely, and fragrant,
So I gathered them
To delight you
With their heady scent
And bright colors.
Have you ever seen
Such lovely blossoms?
They grew in my garden
Tended by my hands.
I grew them
From the seeds you gave me,
Watered and weeded,
Protected and plucked
To present to you
On our wedding day.

Oh my love,
I am wholly yours.
All I have done,
I have done
For you.
Today I bring you
The fruit of my days,
The culmination
Of my efforts
To make myself
Becoming
To you.
Here I come
To take your hand,
To be forever yours.

Saturday, January 10, 2015

Wisdom's Path

Wisdom's Path
By: Joy Ortiz

She treads a path
Across the slough 
With torches burning bright. 
Her hand upraised 
To light the way,
She pierces through the night. 
The ground is soft
With deadly rot
To trap the careless foot. 
Her steps are firm
Above the bog
On marked and solid route. 
For eyes which seek
A higher road,
The stepping stones arise
To build a path
Of sure-foot truth
Which stands above the lies.
Each wanderer
Who finds himself
Confronted by the mire
Must either brave
Its fetid pool
Or search for something higher. 
In darkness deep
The whispers grow,
Confusing wrong and right. 
Well-meaning words
Bear shadows cast
By weak, uncertain light. 
If anyone
Would cross the slough
And reach the other side,
He must be sure
His path is firm
With Wisdom as his guide. 
She strides ahead
To light the way
With bright Integrity. 
She reaches back
Her torch of Truth
Which helps the blind to see. 
Her call rings out! 
She charges you,
"Come; follow in my tread.
Ignite your torch,
Reach out your hand,
And help the light to spread.
Fearless, boldly
Venture forth
In hope and blameless deed,
And every step
Will pierce the dark
For everyone you lead."
Press onward, then
With courage
As you follow what is right. 
When Wisdom
Makes a way for you,
Keep passing on the light. 


Thursday, January 8, 2015

Charlie Hebdo

Yesterday I heard about the brutal killing at satirical cartoon office Charlie Hebdo in France.  The two gunmen killed twelve people while shouting praises to Allah, then they escaped.  This brutality is thought to spring from Charlie Hebdo's satirical cartoon depiction of the prophet Mohammed, as well as inflammatory jibes they made about ISIS and Muslim extremism.  France and the world mourn the tragic event.

Sometimes I really don't know what to think of Islam and other religions.  Jesus said, "I am the way, the truth, and the life.  No one comes to the Father but through me." (John 14:6)  However, countless people around the globe are finding light and purpose from religions other than Christianity.  Some zealots use their religions as excuses for brutality, such as ISIS.  Others promote peace and lovingkindness, such as Mahatma Ghandi.  In the same way, some Christians, such as the members of Westboro Baptist Church, use their religion as a weapon to wound their fellow man.  Others feed the hungry, clothe the naked, and minister to those in prison.  If there is both light and darkness in all religions, then how can we say that ours is better than any other? 

I find peace, hope, and goodness in following Jesus and trying to live according to the Bible's teachings.  It would be really easy for me to point to John 14:6 and say, "There is proof.  No other religion is valid."  Many Christians do that.  However, isn't God bigger than a verse in a book?  Isn't he more vast than our minds can comprehend?  Didn't Satan quote scripture while tempting Jesus to sin?  Wouldn't it be easy for us to wave our Bibles at the rest of the world today and testify against respect for the Muslim religion since the Charlie Hebdo gunmen were shouting praises to Allah while they killed people?  Is that what Christ would do?

Jesus came to bring living water to those who are thirsty.  What if Muslims aren't thirsty?  What if their religion is just as meaningful and satisfying to them as Christianity is to me?  What if Buddhists are already filled with peace and deep regard for life?  Are they wrong?  Am I wrong for not wanting to convert them to Christianity?  Is it wrong to say that I respect the religious beliefs of others as long as they aren't harmful to other people, animals, or the planet?

Jesus made bold claims about who he was and who God was.  He stood in the synagogue and quoted Jewish prophecies, then told the religious leaders that He was the one fulfilling them.  He defied some of the religious rules of the day, preached radical teachings, and went on an angry rampage in the temple.  Clearly He wasn't afraid of upsetting other people's religious beliefs to make his point, so why am I so hesitant to make waves?  Why do I feel such a strong urge to support and validate other people's beliefs?  Well, Jesus was the son of God, and I am definitely not.  He had a lot more authority to make claims about who God was and what people should do in response to that.  I'm just a woman with a Bible, trying to figure out how to live life with as much love as possible.

Still, God gave us his Holy Spirit to live inside of us and to help us discern what God wants to say today.  How much do I cling to the teachings and ideas of my youth, and how much do I listen to that inner voice?  How can I separate truth from the lies?

God, please help me to find truth and live according to it.  As I navigate the murky waters of religion, give me eyes to see you through it all.  Please comfort the families and friends of the Charlie Hebdo victims as they grieve this tragic loss.  Be in the midst of the political and religious fallout of this event.  May goodness and justice prevail.  The Muslim extremists honestly believe that they are doing Allah's work by killing "infidels."  Come, Lord Jesus, and bring light to the darkness.


Wednesday, January 7, 2015

If You Knew About Pain, Why Did You Make Us?

God, there are still many things I don't understand about what you were doing when you created humanity.  Could you see our future from the beginning?  Did you know that bringing us into existence would create great pain for everyone?  Did you know that being a human would hurt so much, that your first humans would choose to believe a lie and condemn the whole of our race to suffer so greatly that the only way to redeem us was for Jesus to come and sacrifice himself?

  It seems so twisted, yet it sounds a lot like parenthood. When Brandon and I decided to have a child, we conceived her in love and hope: love for humankind, love for the enormous potential of a human life, love for the best parts of each other, love for the earth; we hoped to bring a light into the world, a beautiful new baby, innocent and filled with wonder. She was born with free will. She has her own mind. She can make her own decisions, for good or ill, and that is wonderful!  Oh, the mystery of her!  What will she do?  Who will she be?  Where will she go?  What will she say?  Will she love me?  Will she love others?  Will she take care of the earth? 

I don't hold the controls to her mind. She does. I don't own her heart. She does. I don't get to decide her future.  She does. 

It is wonderful and terrifying. 

What if she intentionally hurts people?  What if she chooses laziness and selfishness?  What if she chooses bitterness instead of love?  What if she gets into drugs?  What if she hates and resents my influence on her life?  What if she ignores or rejects me?  What if she grows up and leaves, and I never see her again?  Would it be better if I had never borne a child?  Would it be better if I could somehow have invented a robot instead, one that I could program to never do anything wrong, to never hurt me or anyone else?  No. 

The joy comes from knowing that she can choose, and she still chooses me.  Every time she chooses forgiveness instead of bitterness, my heart swells with love and pride. When she spontaneously hugs me or crawls up into my lap just because she wants to, I feel so loved. When I watch her practice kindness and generosity without being ordered to do it, I am so proud and happy. I delight in her sweet nature and loving heart. 

She is still human, though. She makes bad choices sometimes. She hurts me. Sometimes I am ashamed of her behavior. Sometimes she makes me angry. Some of her choices are stupid and destructive, even when she knows better. She is stubborn. She is fearful. She makes messes, then leaves them for me to clean up.  

Seeing this potential for destruction and darkness within her makes it even sweeter to watch her choose goodness and light. When I see her wanting to be selfish but choosing to be generous instead, it brings me great joy. 

Is that how you feel about us, God?  Did you conceive us in hope and love?  Do you delight in our ability to choose?  Do you find a deeper satisfaction in us, with all of our flaws, than you could in a world of perfect, programmed robots?  Does this ability to choose make us wonderful, even though we cause great pain?  Is pain just the price of being freely chosen?  Does the greatest love come when you give up control of the beloved?  If you knew about pain, did you make us anyway because you also knew about love?

Friday, January 2, 2015

The Man Who Was Something

i.) Clown

A trifold mirror,
Lighted within
Showed a man transformed. 
Grease paints,
A faded red nose,
Chuck Taylor sneakers,
(Bright green), and
A plaid suit
With over-sized buttons
Made him
A clown,
When clowns were still
Innocent.
He was
The bringer of joy.
Painting on a face,
He became
Something.

ii.) Trucker

A young man
With empty hands
And emptier pockets
Faced the world,
Standing at the cusp of
Adulthood.
What did he know?
He could drive a truck,
Riding high above
Tiny cars,
Feeling the rumble of
A bigger engine,
The freedom
Of the open road.
With the windows down
And the radio on,
His left arm
Gained a suntan,
His wallet filled,
And the days slipped by
Like white dashes
On an endless highway. 
With a dusty trucker hat
Perched atop his curly head,
He whistled an old song
And cracked jokes on the CB radio.
He was
Something. 

iii.) Christian

A broken heart leaves an empty hole. 
What to do?
Hurt and searching,
A young man 
Stumbled over the doorstep
Of a church.
Loving arms 
Caught him. 
Kind faces
Welcomed him. 
Holy hands
Lifted him. 
He made friends,
Learned new songs,
And put all of his swear words
Up on a shelf. 
He bought a shirt with a collar
And a pair of Sunday shoes. 
He even found
The perfect wife. 
Dreaming of 
Missionary adventures and
Holy callings,
He really felt like
Something. 

iv.) Work Boots

When the shine wears off
Of brand-new boots
Sometimes a man
Finds himself
With two stiff hunks of leather
That rub his heels,
Blister his toes,
And just don't seem to fit. 
Sometimes, he tries on
Someone else's boots
To see if he made a mistake
In purchasing his own. 
Maybe he returns to throw them out,
But finds them willing
To stretch and yield,
To be forgiving.
He keeps them after all
To break them in,
Yet every day,
He nurses blisters
And curses the boots,
Wearing them
As little as possible,
Preferring to leave them
Neatly paired and polished
In the closet at home. 
Even boots that don't fit are
Something. 

v.) Engineer

What does a man do
When his life doesn't run smoothly,
When the world is big
And unruly,
When adulthood
Squeezes the joy
Out of every day?
He builds trains. 
Oh, the wonder
Of creating a world
Where everything is small,
Lovely,
Perfect in detail,
And functions
Just as it should!
Visitors to his apartment
Marveled
At the beautiful layouts,
Bitty buildings,
Mâché mountains,
Twisting tracks, and
Tiny trees. 
"You made all of this?!"
They would exclaim. 
Surveying his world
From beneath the brim 
Of his engineer hat,
The man knew
He was
Something. 

vi.) Bluegrass Musician

A young man loved music. 
He could play the guitar-
Nothing fancy,
Just a handful of chords
With a run or two
Thrown in 
Like a pinch of salt. 
What would he play?
Something easy,
Something alive,
Something happy. 
He became
A bluegrass player. 
With rhythm and drive,
A capo and six strings,
He could sing the saddest of stories
While making toes tap in time. 
Hands clapped, heads nodded,
People smiled and even danced. 
Up on the stage, 
He really felt like
Something. 

vii.) Farmer

Tired of rules, traffic, and suburbs,
A man bought some land,
A house and a barn,
Two horses,
A creek, 
And some tractors. 
He would be
A farmer. 
He built a bigger barn,
Bought a bigger tractor,
A plough, a disc, and a wagon.
In a rented field,
He ploughed the earth
In straight rows,
Covered the garbage
With fertile soil,
And planted
Corn and beans. 
Trucking all day, then
Tending his crops
Evenings and weekends,
He was a working man. 
When the corn poured out
From the combine's auger,
The man knew he was
Something. 

viii.) Cowboy

Saddles and spurs,
An old lariat,
Ten gallon hats,
And cowboy songs
Called to a boy,
Stirring his soul
With a longing for
Purple canyons,
Lonely plains,
Lowing cattle, and
Star-swept skies. 
The blood of a cowboy 
Ran in his veins. 
The song of a cowboy
Swelled in his heart. 
When he became a man,
The South Dakota plains
Lay far away in the west,
Yet he sang their songs,
Told their stories,
And dreamed of campfires,
Coyotes, and cattle calls. 
When he donned his Stetson,
Neckerchief, and boots,
When he yodeled and yipped,
It seemed like he was really a part of
Something. 

ix.) Dad

On a day in July,
Then September,
Then August,
A man became 
Dad. 
Protector, educator,
Disciplinarian,
Tickle-fighter,
Santa, 
Playhouse builder,
Go-kart track maker,
Hayride driver,
Rainbow mural painter,
And school board member,
He stood tall on his pedestal,
The hero. 
Watching his son play basketball,
Reading good report cards, 
Attending concerts,
Snuggling and laughing, and 
Watching John Wayne movies
Made being a dad really
Something. 

x.)  Truck Owner

Working for a cranky, old man
Year in and out
Made a man dream of
Self-employment. 
Freedom hung like a star,
Lofty and bright
Before his eyes. 
One day, 
The man left the trucking yard
For the last time
And bought a truck of his own.
A purple Kenworth beauty
With a swan on the hood
And a sleeper cab
Crowned the top of the cake
At his celebration party. 
Family and friends gathered
To wish him well. 
As he set off from home and family
In a truck of his own,
With open roads before him, 
The man swelled with pride. 
Finally he was going to become
Something. 

xi.) Praise Band Leader

A pastor asked a man
To lead the church praise band. 
Enthusiastically, the man
Began selecting music. 
He bought CDs,
An amp,
And two new guitars. 
He bought a multi-effects guitar pedal
And printed up chord sheets. 
Assembling a team,
He held practices,
And on Sunday mornings,
The drums and bass pulsed
As melodic guitars and keys
Filled the church 
With songs of praise, light, and hope. 
As the man strummed his guitar,
He looked out over a congregation 
Of worshippers with raised hands,
And he felt he was chosen for
Something. 

xii.) Biker

A young man owned a motorcycle,
But sold it when his children were small. 
Once they had grown up,
He remembered
Wind in his hair,
Freedom,
Sound, and scenery, so
He bought a Harley Road King. 
Flying down the road,
Leather-clad and goggled,
He gave the biker wave
To other riders
Like a secret handshake
In a club. 
With gold hoops in his ears,
Patches on his jacket,
Betassled handlebars,
And loud chrome pipes,
He rode to motorcycle rallies,
Poker runs,
And Biker Sunday. 
Astride his bike, he really was
Something. 

xiii.) Sometimes

Not all dreams last. 
Sometimes a man
Awakens
To a mountain of debt,
A barn full
Of silent tractors,
Stalls piled with junk,
Fields scattered with
Dead snowmobiles,
An abandoned wagon,
And an empty tractor cab
Drowning in tall, brown grass. 

Sometimes model trains
Sit in boxes,
Mâché mountains crumble,
And dust covers the tracks
Of layout pieces stacked in the barn. 


Sometimes society decides that
Clowns are creepy. 

Sometimes your adorable children
Become surly teenagers
Who challenge authority,
Defy the rules,
Or leave for college
Wearing studs and combat boots. 

Sometimes the trucking business fails
And all that remains
Is the Kenworth,
Lonely and forlorn,
With nowhere to go. 

Sometimes your boots still give you
Blisters
Because you just couldn't bear
To wear them
Until they really broke in. 

Sometimes the church hires
A new music pastor
To pack the pews,
And you end up
Back in one
Instead of on the team. 

Sometimes
Your life falls apart,
And you stumble back out of the church
With a broken heart. 

Sometimes
Sad songs
Are just sad songs
No matter how fast you play them. 

Sometimes
You're just a guy
In a cowboy hat
A long way
From South Dakota. 

But you know what?

I still think 

You're

Something.