Friday, February 28, 2014

Growing Up

Growing up
By: Joy Ortiz

I was an acorn
Shaken and fallen,
Buried and alone,
Cold in the darkness
Underground. 

My shell was hard. 

At my heart
Lay a bitter kernel,
Small and green,
Shielded and rough-capped,
Yet alive. 

I remembered the sun;
The rustle of my parent's leaves;
The songs of birds;
The view from high boughs
Before I fell. 

As I lay in the dark,
Entombed by earth,
I wept for the loss
Of light and life. 

Was there anything left for me
Besides death?

Yet something unseen
Hovered above my cold bed. 
The world I had left
Was over me still
Beyond the dirt. 

How long did I lie
In the unchanging ground
Shivering in fear and doubt?
All the world was silent. 

But time passed; the season changed.
The soil around me grew warm,
And at last I knew
The sun still shone somewhere. 

When the earth became damp
And water bathed me,
I remembered April storms
And the beauty of falling rain. 

When neighbor roots
Pushed down around me,
I recalled the verdant grass
Spreading beneath my parents' tree.

They reminded me
That black earth is no tomb
But life for many
Who draw their strength
From deep roots. 

Something stirred above me,
Curious and penetrating. 
It was a red ant
Tunneling downward. 
 
He made his bed in the depths,
Safe from hungry foes,
And daily trekked from soil to sun
And back again. 

His presence told me
Dark solitude is not death
But safety and refuge 
For those who make perilous journeys
And need a place to rest. 

Hope rose in my acorn heart. 
Through a shell softened by rain, soil, and time,
I reached,
Sending the palest shoot upward,
And downward,
A tiny root.  

Through the warm earth I climbed
Upward and downward
Past the ants and neighbor roots,
Toward life above and below. 

No longer a resident of one world
But two,
I emerged again into the sun,
Transfigured from acorn to oak. 

Slow-growing yet sure,
I reach toward heaven. 
Rooted in the death that remade me,
I am growing up. 

Tuesday, December 31, 2013

Pizza and Breadsticks

I tried to get McDonald's breakfast this morning, and my debit card was declined. Twice. I thought it was weird, so I checked my bank app, and sure enough, I still had plenty of money in my account, yet my card had been declined. 

Brandon said maybe the bank had frozen my card since I had used it to make a Target purchase around the time when their accounts were hacked.  That was our best theory. I tried calling the bank after lunch, but they were already closed for New Years. 

Hoping the card issue was a fluke, I took Zadie to Little Caeser's to pick up a pizza and breadsticks for dinner. I told the guy at the counter, "Try running my card before you get my order ready. It didn't go through at McDonald's this morning, and I'm not sure it it will work." He tried it, and sure enough, it was declined again. 

"Did you use your credit card at Target recently?" the guy asked me.

"Yes," I replied. 

"They probably froze your card. The same thing just happened to my brother. Here ya go. Your pizza is on me."  He pulled a cheese pizza out of the case and set it on the counter before me. 

"What else was she ordering?" asked the lady in line behind me.  "Breadsticks?  I'll take care of it. Happy New Year!"

I was astonished. "You guys don't have to do that!" I exclaimed. 

"I'm feeling generous," said the pizza guy. 

"My step-brother used my name to rack up a $400 utility bill one time," said the lady.  "I know how it feels to have your identity stolen.  This is my Christmas.  I have three kids." She gave Zadie a quarter to play the pinball machine. 

I was overwhelmed.  "Well, thank you guys!  God bless!" 

As Zadie and I walked to the car with our free pizza and breadsticks, I told her, "We have to never ever forget this. We have to always remember the kind people who gave us pizza when we didn't have any money."

When we sat down to eat, we bowed our heads to pray. Zadie prayed for the people who had their money stolen by the robbers at Target. We asked God to bless the food and the people who had given it to us. We ate that gift of a pizza with full hearts.

 I am still not sure why my card was declined today or if I was even a victim of the Target credit card fiasco.  All in know is that I was hungry, and kind people chose to love me and give me food. My heart is bigger today, and I will be keeping my eyes open for my next chance to pay it forward. :0)

Tuesday, August 6, 2013

Make Me New

Renew my mind that's sick and small. 
Refresh my heart that's sad and dry. 
Lift my heavy eyes today. 
Make me new. Make me new. 
Return the color to my world. 
Strengthen weary hands and arms. 
Lift this weight off of my soul. 
Give me grace for my shortcomings. 
Help me grow and overcome. 
Make an ending to my mourning. 
Comfort pain that aches for home. 
Bring me hope that carries burdens. 
Give me joy that clears my skies. 
May patience pave my paths with peace. 
Give me faith to breathe and stay. 
I am crumpled, small, and tired. 
I am lying in your hand. 
Smooth me out and make me lovely. 
Write a story on my face. 
May all who see me know your goodness;
All who hear me feel your love. 
This day is yours to recreate me. 
Here I am. Come; make me new. 

Sunday, August 4, 2013

We Lie Side By Side

You're curled up in the dark
Breathing soft and slow.
Your warm and quiet presence
Is a mystery even now.

How many years did I sleep alone?
Now I never do.
You chased me down and caught me up.
You made me your bride.

My blanket is heavy and white.
Yours is thin and quilted dark.
We lie side by side,
Two silent pea pods.

What would we ever do with silence?
Your ugly fan keeps it away.
I've grown used to the whirring.
It is part of me, like you.

How many nights have I laid down
Taking you for granted?
Your quiet presence
Chases loneliness away.

Thank you.

My Psalm 63

You, God, are my God.
Earnestly I seek you.
Your hands form a mosaic from my broken pieces.
My whole being longs for you,
Because your voice is louder than my fears.
I have seen you in the darkest, dirtiest, most broken places.
Because your love is better than seeking my own path to happiness,
My heart chooses surrender.
I will praise you as long as I live,
And in your name I will sacrifice all of my own ambitions.
I will be fully satisfied as with Ghiradelli chocolate.
Every part of me will praise you.
When I see beauty triumph over brokenness,
I remember you.
I think of you as I get my hands messy.
Because you are my inspiration,
Beauty flows from my hands and lips.
I cleave to you,
Your loving daughter.

Time for Bed

Time For Bed
By: Joy Ortiz

Day is done
Silent bed
Darkened house
Heavy head

Blanket warm
Pillow deep
Drooping eyes
Time for sleep

Busy week
Hungry day
Mostly work
Bits of play

Circles run
Pages read
Day is done
Time for bed.

Love, Dream, Hope, Trust

Love, Dream, Hope, Trust
By: Joy Ortiz

Lazy, lagging,
Latent, languid,
Long-awaited
Love.

Dismal, doubtful,
Distant, dragging,
Deeply desired
Dream.

Hushed, heart-breaking,
Hampered, hated,
Hard-to-harbor
Hope.

Twisted, tired,
Tentative, torn,
Timid, tiny
Trust.